No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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