bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
