I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize