Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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