and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
