dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
