I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
