Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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