I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
