When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
