I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
