That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
