I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
3pm strippers are depressing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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