Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
