didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
