And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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