Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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