yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
