Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
