I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
try to milk me bitch
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