Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
