I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
