Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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