As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
