I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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