he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
