giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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