I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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