Porn is love you can see.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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