I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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