is your mom at the bar?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
