That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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