i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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