Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
