You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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