Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
