3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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