New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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