Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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