They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
