Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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