I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
