Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
