It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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