There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
