Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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