True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize