He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
