I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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