Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize