Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my shit smells like andre
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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