john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
