i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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