she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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