hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize