Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
