thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
