We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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