they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
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Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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